The Waiting

the waiting.jpg

Waiting.
That expanse of existence
That feels eternal
Agonizing
Where normal rationale ceases
As time ever increases
Seemingly without end
—You can only ask when

When?
When is it time?
When will it arrive?
When will my dream be realized?

You hold hope inside
Measured
Treasured
Carefully
Like a vapor you cannot see
Your dream is but a mist

This dream remains unformed
in the real world
No shape does it take
It exists only in your mind
Safely in your mind
No one else can see inside your mind
So no one can reject your dream
—That vision only you can see
Your dream is safe inside 

For if you speak it aloud
Whispered or proud
The dream begins to shape 

Then the longing and hoping
The waiting and wondering
The praying and asking
Suddenly
Becomes a type of vulnerability
You cannot escape 

Once spoken
Your dream is released
Out in the world
It’s set free
From the safety of your mind 

Once stated, alas
The vapor of hope
The dream in the mist
Hardens into glass
Smooth and light
Sharp and defined
Reflecting all of you
In every surface 

Now you hold it
Timidly
Most preciously
Your dream
A fragile piece of you
That everyone can see 

You wait.

There’s risk
People know
They see it resting in your grasp
Each day that’s passed
They watch you gasp
Holding in your breath 

It’s delicate
That dream
That fulfillment you wait to see
So fragile
One quick move
And CRASH
It shatters—
scatters on the floor
—that glass
A million sparkling shards
Glinting up at you

Everyone stares
They’re fully aware
As your soul is laid bare
The disappointment of your dream
The hope that once held such a gleam
Now lies broken your feet 

The waiting is no more
All those questions when
The time arrived—
It came and went 

But it never achieved
The heights
The lights
The pinnacle
All this dream was meant to fulfill
Now it seems it never will

The waiting ended
—abrupt
Disappointment interrupts
And takes hope’s place

So now—you must decide
Do you run and hide?
Or take full strides
Toward a new dream?
No one else can decide  

It’s you
Your choice
Your dream
In something bigger than it seems
Yet it may be
Worth hoping again 

But this time
Perhaps
What before had lacked
Was someone else to help the slack
For something else was given back
Into your trembling hands

His hope takes new shape
None before has seen
His hope has a purpose
None before has been 
His hope is both solid
Simultaneously vapor
His hope is a mystery
Reflecting its Creator  

Yet He asks of you:
Wait.
Again?
Yes, wait.
Not to punish
Not to break your precious spirit
But to give time for His best
To bring you rest
To fulfill more than you guess

Because His dream for you
won’t shatter on the floor
Won’t FLASH then be no more
Won’t burden to your core 

His dream will make you
More of you
Than you have ever been
His dream for you is
More you
Than you ask or imagine

Because He sees all of you
Every thing you were
Every thing you are
Every thing you can be 

All at once
Wrapped up in one
Shimmering
Terrific dream
A gift He wants you to receive
Try to trust
And believe. 

Yes, try
Hold out your hands
And close your eyes
Breathe out a sigh
And wait.

 

©2018 Kelly Carr